Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
