i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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