break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
