that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
