Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
