i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
