so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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