quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
