The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
