i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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