i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
