i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He felt like a one man threesome
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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