Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
