Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
