New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
