Taylor Swift is so right about you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize