I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
