is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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