um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
