i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
