your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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