wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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