its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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