i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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