You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize