that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
