There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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