I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
