She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
