I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
