The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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