So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize