I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
