that's an acceptable place to lick
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
