remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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