dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
