I hate all girls vehemently.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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