Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
