This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish i was in the wii world.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
