I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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