You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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