why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
