how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
