would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
