ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
