Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
