toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
