part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
