I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is wine microwaveable?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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