Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
