What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
