i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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