ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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