He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
