Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
