At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
