You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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