Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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