You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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