I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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